Photo-Illustration: The Strategist; Photos: Retailers
Getting a wedding invitation comes with a lot of whats — as in, what to give from the registry, what hotel to book, and, usually the hardest, what to wear. And the question of what to wear isn’t getting any easier as new dress codes are being invented all the time (“fancy ranch,” anyone?). Before you open 20 new tabs: I did the shopping for wedding-guest dresses for you and asked seasoned wedding guests — including a newsletter author who keeps a “wedding spreadsheet” and an artist who walked down the aisle as a flower girl — about the dresses hanging in their closets. You’ll find all kinds here, from the one seen everywhere from a ballroom in Washington, D.C., to a church in New Orleans to another that might be mistaken for old Halston. I included dresses at different price points: under $250, under $500, and over $500. And if you’re looking for more formalwear to shop, here’s our guide to the best button-downs for men and ties to go with them.
An installment of Emilia Petrarca’s Shop Rat introduced me to Lily Sullivan, author of the newsletter Love and Other Rugs, who created a wedding spreadsheet cataloguing her wedding-guest dresses. “It came about because I was attending eight weddings last year and needed to wrap my head around what was already in my closet,” Sullivan tells me. (Sullivan averages about four weddings every year.) A recent addition to her list is this Diish dress, which she caught gallerist Hannah Traore wearing at Frieze. It’s made of a light linen (you might not guess that by just a glance). Sullivan wore it to a rehearsal dinner at Casetta in the Lower East Side, with sandals in Sonoma, and from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. in Milan. “It’s a very versatile number,” she says.
In Ground Condition newsletter writer Kelsey Keith’s circle of friends, almost everyone owns the Locanda Dress from Rachel Comey. Comey is “just uniquely good at designing dresses that make you feel good because they are interesting and easy to wear,” Keith says. The Locanda Dress comes ruched and is made from a cool cotton poplin. She notes that straplessness has come back with a vengeance, too: “For elder millennials like myself, it’s a throwback, though today’s version tends to have a little more structure than the stretchy bandeaus we used to squeeze into circa 2005.”
Norma Kamali’s Diana Dress might be to wedding-guest dresses what Chapstick is to lip balm. (Apparently, thousands were sold a week when it made an appearance on And Just Like That … in baby blue.) It’s got big things going for it: It’s shirred, stretchy, and comfortable. Take it from Hannah Johnson, who wore one to a ceremony on a Mexican beach: “The ruching was definitely forgiving after a long night of margaritas and tacos,” she says.
This is what writer Oset Babür-Winter wore to a wedding in a barn outside of Portland (Maine, not Oregon). It traveled well, not wrinkling easily even inside a stuffed suitcase. “Other appealing features include pockets and a light lining that doesn’t bunch up when you’re sitting or dancing,” she says. Importantly, the print photographs in a way that doesn’t beg the question: Is she a bridesmaid? It’s “comfortable enough to dance, eat, and drink, and to stand in photos at cocktail hour and actually feel like you want to see how the pictures turned out after,” Babür-Winter promises. You can wear it to an al fresco dinner or an en plein air picnic.
This summer’s festivities — namely, a black-tie reception in Rhode Island — led content creator Heather Hurst (who you might know as @pigmami) down a second-hand rabbit hole. “I was at my wits’ end on page 59 of every site,” says Hurst. Until she found Sézane’s flowy, one-shouldered Wanda. “It makes me feel very feminine, almost Grecian, and the red feels daring without leaning ostentatious,” she tells me. Hurst styled it with a messy Sienna Miller–inspired updo and on-trend mesh flats. Then she took it out to dinner with her parents: “The tent style is perfect for long bouts of dancing and eating, which is my ideal summer-plan lineup.” She even has visions of sporting it with knee-high hunting boots come fall.
Strategist senior editor Hilary Reid attended a wedding in Greece wearing the Sorbae dress from Astr the Label. “The chiffon-y fabric felt just the right amount of formal,” she says, while the cascade of ruffles was “slightly sexy without being over the top.” Reid was a little nervous about the straps, which tie at the shoulders, coming undone while dancing, but she danced until 4 a.m. and the straps stayed exactly where they were at the beginning of the night.
It was in the comments section of a TikTok video where brand consultant Lucia Litman came across this dress. She couldn’t believe it was from Mango. (It’s deeply discounted, now $65.99, down from $199.99) “I have never run to a site more quickly,” she says. The pleating might make it be mistaken for vintage Halston. “I feel like I should be in the South of France at a beach club dancing in it,” she tells me. Fittingly, she’ll be taking it to a wedding in Sicily with a “beach chic” theme.
If you’re looking to go the renting route, there’s Bardot’s Verona on Nuuly. Artist Taylor Quitara rented it for a holiday party — and ended up buying it instead of returning it. It’s been much worn ever since then.The show-stopping sequins make her feel like a “sparkly mermaid.” She adds that with sequined garments, “the fit can be a bit unflattering sometimes, but I love how form fitting this is.” It’s soon to be seen in Miami. “Just imagine how it’s going to look in all the flash photos,” she says. (Just be careful with whatever else you have on so as not to have it snagged by a sequin.)
Brand consultant Nancy Rosenbloom turned two looks during a big wedding (which doubled as a reunion of her early New York City days) in Minneapolis over the 4th of July weekend: a strapless Rachel Comey that reminded her of Carrie Bradshaw and a fringed Caro Luna that twirled through the dance floor. “I’m pretty sure I found it in a newsletter somewhere,” she says. “I knew when I saw it that it would have a lot of movement.” It features a Lycra lining — feeling much like a swimsuit — that made dancing all the better, especially with dangling Mondo Mondo earrings.
[Editor’s note: Caro Luna lists its prices in euros, so this is an approximation to dollars.]
Reformation has a whole section of its site dedicated to wedding-guest dresses — and I heard it mentioned more than any brand by far. Its appeal is in the selection (you can scroll down pages like “black tie” and “bra friendly”), with everything from leopard satin for a Vegas chapel to a floral georgette for a Portuguese cathedral. Photographer Julia Stotz has been wearing Ref dresses to weddings since 2016. Sullivan went to a rehearsal dinner at a Aspen art museum in the Frankie — and then saw someone at the same wedding wearing it the next day. Artist Melly Wirtes walked down the aisle as a flower girl in the Cassette. “My guess is that the Casette dress is an elusive example of a bridesmaid dress you’ll actually wear again,” she says. Ruby Buddemeyer, the director of copy and concept at Starface, decided on the Aiko after wedding-guest-dress shopping for months. “I’m really not a dress girl — I never feel like myself,” she adds. “This was definitely an exception from the minute I tried it on.”
Another good wedding-guest-dress maker: Dôen.“I don’t love the idea of buying a dress that I’m only going to wear once,” says Bathen co-founder Hannah Zisman. So for the last three years, she’s been buying Dôen dresses, which she likes for their go-with-everything vintage-inspired prints, super-flattering shirring, perfectly puffy puff sleeves, and “sultry necklines that just make your boobs look extra bountiful for some reason.” Her dresses have gone to a wedding on a coastal campground in Maine, where guests ate fresh oysters and played lawn games, and around a pool with espresso martinis in White Rock, British Columbia. And Aemilia Madden of Taeste Bud says, “I’m always pleasantly surprised by the quality and how well they fit my body.” You should note, as she tells me, that some can be on the sheerer side as they’re often unlined.
The news of Maryam Nassir Zadeh x J.Crew set the Strategist-staffer Slack channel abuzz. Soon after, I heard about it again from writer Jo Rosenthal and Wall Street Journal art editor Alexandra Citrin-Safadi, who both believe the line’s bias-cut slip would make a great wedding-guest dress. “Heading to a desert wedding in Santa Fe or Palm Springs? You’re welcome,” says Citrin-Safadi. She adds, “Mid-aughts boho is clearly knocking, and this dress answered the door.” (It looks like an old Ghost dress to us.) “I don’t need it, but I want it,” she explains. “They really said we’re doing MNZ at J.Crew price points — not cheap, but not MNZ.” (The Cut’s Danya Issawi tried it out, writing that it’s well suited “for nearly any occasion — dinner with friends, a little soirée, stargazing, plotting revenge, you name it.”)
A hot tip: Sullivan has been seeing Anna October making the rounds in wedding circuits, like this tulip-cupped number. “I think the way they work with silks is really imaginative,” she says. To get the look for a lot less, there’s the Anna October x J.Crew collection. Sullivan likes this dress, which she tried on more recently.
“I have been very into Ulla Johnson lately, after a long hiatus,” says Rosenbloom. The Leighton dress is what she has in mind for a wedding she’s attending at a community garden center called the Intervale in Vermont. Rosenbloom liked the watercolor print first, “and knew it would be nice against the backdrop of flowers, weeping willows, and ponds.” Because she’ll probably be e-biking home from the venue — in true Vermonter fashion — she’s thinking of pairing it with platform shoes.
“I see it, quite literally without exception, at every wedding,” Wirtes says of Staud’s Calluna Dress. That includes everywhere from a ballroom in Washington D.C. to a church in New Orleans. “Aside from it being available to rent, I imagine the universal appeal is that the floor-length, billowy silhouette is super forgiving on all body types,” she explains. Plus, it’s “extremely elegant — what more can a girl ask for?”
(Illustrator-ceramicist Laura Chautin missed her chance to wear a cotton-candy-colored confection in the English countryside. “But I look forward to wearing it in the future. It’s effortlessly glamorous and I feel very free and myself in it,” she says.)
Utibe Mbagwu, a digital-marketing strategist, describes this Shushu/Tong original as a “smoky-eye in dress form.” It fit in with the cocktail-attire dress code. “I wore something I hoped the bride would appreciate,” she says. It stood out well while she watched the sunset — the wedding was held at the Brooklyn Grange, a rooftop garden on the edge of the waterfront — “took cover from a surprise shower, ate dinner family-style, and finished with bottomless cobbler and wine on the dance floor.”
Filmmaker (and former New York photo editor) Stella Blackmon’s event outfit of choice is Beaufille’s slim-fitting, sexy Baes dress. “It’s cut in a way that sort of swings away from the body,” she says. It features a cutout on the top, with a bra built into the bust — for her smaller chest, she doesn’t have to keep pulling up, as there’s boning on the sides. “My friends tease me that I’m in a cutout-dress phase, and I think I actually am because those are the dresses I get the most compliments on,” she says. You’ll see it often go on sale at Ssense, with sizes slowly selling out.
Here’s a dress for those going to a ceremony that’s anything but traditional. Quitara is planning on wearing it to an afternoon New York City Hall wedding that’ll be followed by a rooftop afterparty: “The couple is very fashionable and wants their guests to have fun.” Because it’s see-through, she suggests “being thoughtful about what you plan on wearing underneath so that way you aren’t freaking out at the last minute.” A matching leopard bralette and bottom will be beneath hers, and it’s “begging to be worn with a kitten heel.”
(Something even sheerer: the Salter House Organza Ghost Dress, which founder Sandeep Salter wore as maid-of-honor at her sister’s seaside wedding in Gilleleje, Denmark. “The silk-covered buttons, the shirring at the waist, and the fine organza make me think of A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” she says.)
To a friends’ nuptials at the Boathouse in Prospect Park, Wirtes went with Stine Goya’s Mille Dress. “We all went to art school together, so the fashion at this wedding was top-tier.” Thanks to a torrential downpour, guests were ushered inside a “moody, candlelit tiled room.” And on “a fairly rainy, dreary day, I found that this dress is perfect for transitional weather: The sleeves have a bit of cover, while the fabric is still light,” she says. Hers has a painterly tulip (that’s now out of stock) on it. It’s regularly restocked in different patterns (see here, here, and here) — and, as she tells me, “literally, I’m sure others will be available by the time you go to publish.”
(Another colorful number: a Dries van Noten dress that’s almost gone. Stylist Lilli Millhiser scored it pre-retirement announcement for a wedding where she couldn’t wear black in the Washington State woods. “Hoping another occasion calls for it again soon, although I’d happily wear it with flip flops too,” she says.)
New Zealand label Paris Georgia is a regular fixture in Vogue’s wedding pages. Its Marlo dress is one of the dresses friends borrow the most from Sullivan’s spreadsheet.
“It gives everyone curves,” she says, with a hugging silhouette and low-but-not-too-low neckline. “It’s more interesting than a standard black dress, which I always think is the way to wear black to a wedding.” Sullivan got it for a wedding where she was a bridesmaid “and not one but two ex-boyfriends were groomsmen.”
Lettering illustrator Jessica Hische loaned a Pleats Please to friend Keith for a pre-wedding event a few weeks ago. “Because Pleats sizing is so forgiving, it feels like a Sisterhood of The Traveling Dress kind of situation,” Keith says. Keith has seen plenty of tank-style Pleats Please, in nearly every color, at the weddings she’s been to, and borrowed this one in the brightest, highlighter-iest hue: “The neon lime green is an outrageous color that looks good with a tan.”
Anaak’s Airi features a voluminous silhouette for something billowing. Permanent Collection’s Fanny Singer calls it “a liberation from the idea of what formalwear has to be.” She owns a few of them, including a peony number that “feels wedding-ish without being white getting too ‘bridal,’” while a fuchsia is “to die for and couldn’t be more celebratory.” Because the label prides itself in making things limited-edition, these colors change seasonally — and once one is sold out, it’s not restocked. “It’s a flash of featherweight color that billows like a sail,” she says, “It’s pure romance.” It comes in mini form as well.
Citrin-Safadi is soon to be part of a wedding party that will all be wearing pink. (It’s for one of her best friends, who’s getting married at Milk & Roses in Greenpoint.) For her turn as maid of honor, she’s thinking of the “sugar-spun dream” that is the Tabea from Chelsea Mak. “This just feels right,” she says. If Citrin-Safadi didn’t have to be in shades of bubblegum, ballet slippers, or watermelon, she’d be in a Coming of Age Jade dress. It has a nice iridescence with “big dragonfly-wing energy.”
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